I'm really unable to pinpoint what is different about this school year over last. I really can't think that the kids or school is the huge difference. Kids are kids...they always will be. They'll always have their needs and immaturities. So, it must be me. Doing this job for the second time, or second year, I should be better, smarted, more efficient, make less mistakes. That being said, I do feel like I do the job better...sometimes, somedays. Still, the works wears me out, completely. The easiest thing is to say that my emotional energy is low due to the events of the the past 7 months. It does seem that the speed of operation this year is much higher. Like the switch gets thrown about 7:15 and things are 90 miles per hour with my hair on fire until 3:45. I'm not complaining, except that I hate feeling like I'm behind or out of control. Hoping for a quiet exam week and the break.
Drove to get the kids last night. They have all been bumping around with their friends today and tonight. I may get Chris back later, but the other 3 are sleepin over. We are leaving at noon Sunday to head back to San Antonio. Normally I met my ex in Schulenberg, half-way between me and her. Well, I am taking Patrick to a WWE event in San Antonio for his Christmas present. He is totally going to be suprised. I was talking to Chris today, he asked why we had to leave so early. Chris and I share football, and he was looking forward to watching the game tomorrow. I told him what was up, and he was like...wow. I'm hoping to be headed back to Houston by 10:00. Gonna be a tough day, but Patrick is so worth it.
From the I want it now, but you have to wait file.... It is incredibly frustrating to not be able to share the things you want to share with the person you want to share them with. We understand there are hurdles that have to be cleared before we can be together. Missed her birthday party last night, so i was pretty bummed about that. I am finding in her so many things I haven't encountered in years, or at least since I married. There will be a time soon when things will be easier, and we both understand that. We've waited 40 years, whats a little while longer? Know that it hurts to not be in contact with you, to not be able to talk to you whenever I want, to not be able to reach out and touch your face. I'll never know how or why you've been mistreated or the extent of your scars. I do know I will do whatever possible to help them fade and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You asked me once if I believed in soul mates. I certainly didn't marry one, may have had the chance with someone long ago, but if there are soul mates....I hope it feels like this.
Unconditionally,
I love you.
dave
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