The snow was a freaking pain in the ass! I love snow....rare here, so beautiful. Of course, our school district, unlike dozens of other school districts, went the full day. I had an entire class get up to go down the hall to a window, plus other various dumb things kids did waiting for me to deal with tomorrow. Also, the freak weather caused enough concerns for travel that my kids visit had to be moved to next weekend. Not a huge deal except now I will miss my friend's birthday party, that pisses me off.
If this blog is dangerous for anyone out there, you need to make the decision about spending time here or not. Being an open access to anyone in the world, I know there are people out there facing the same struggles I am. I have a very few friends that monitor what I write. I write messages to them, for them, about them. This is part of my self-prescribed road to getting healthy again. There are so many scars from the past 20 years, many are physical but the majority are below the surface. I still face so many hurdles in my life to try to regain who I was. Yet, the person I was will never surface again. All of us are shaped by our experiences, we grow and become better, hopefully. Each day I imagine I am taking steps towards undoing the damage that was done.
I have been fortunate that since May, I have had several situations that have showed me things I had lost, things not felt for years, emotions long burried or hidden behind walls. I am in a hurry to feel so many things, yet am also very cautious...can't relax. There is an incredible lady that has not had an easy time in her life. We compliment eachother is so many ways. I could try to explain how she makes me feel, but I don't know if there are enough pages available here for me to write. We have hurdles to overcome, but I am willing to take those hurdles together. All we can promise today is to take the next step, together. I am powerless to stop what has started. All I ask for is the chance to treat her the way she deserves to be treated, and prolly how she has never been treated. You have said somethings to me that I can't ever remember having been said to me. You are clearly the highlight of my days and the desire of my nights.
Really not sure if I'm ready for this week. Well, no, I'm not. I was at school for several hours today tryin to put the wraps on last week and get a plan for this week. So far behind......
Whoever you are, where ever you are...I hope you have a good week. If it's your last week of work before your holidays...hang in there. If you are sick, please get your health back. If you're living day to day, take it day to day. That is the difficult one for me.
Unconditionally,
I Love You.
dave
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