Divorce

What is a nice guy to do??? I have spent 18 years, 20 if you include dating and engagement, with this lady. We have 4 wonderful kids. Over the past several years, we have drifted apart. While my wife was in a mental hospital due to a job related breakdown, I discovered communications she had been having with other men. She would tell them how she wished she was divorced. I found out about one actual 'meeting' she had to which she wrote him the next day, "Hey babe, that was a great night."

We don't have money saved, but we do have credit card debt! When I moved out, I left her this letter:

Neither of us have been happy for a very long time, and we both deserve the chance to regain that. My lawyer tells me that it is silly for us to contest this divorce. I agree. I won't fight you for the kids. They are always welcome with me. I have never told the boys what to do and respect whatever decisions they come to in life. I will pay the $1,100.00 child support every month, and keep the children on my insurance. I am in the process of removing myself from the cell bill and the auto ins. bill.
I have taken what I want from the house, which is very little. If you sell the house, I would like part of the money and expect we will equally divide the debt. If you want your lawyer to draw up papers reflecting such, I will have my lawyer review them. I don't have money like your dad, but I'd like to think he isn't in a big hurry to spend a bunch of it in court. If I need to I can beg, borrow or steal money to contest, but think we can work things out between the two of us.
I hope you get a job for next year and would be happy to tell anyone what an incredible teacher you are. I hope you find love again with Chuck or whoever. I really don't want to be enemies.

When I was served with papers, everything was agreeable. The only exception to that was her request for spousal maintenance, or alimony. She has had steady employment for the past 6 years, but had to take a leave of absence due to a medical condition. She was released to return to work in June '09.
I do not have money to pay a retainer. I have met with a couple different attorneys, but I continue to be in the same situation. I am facing the prospect of going to court over one issue Pro Se. At this point I am representing myself. Neither of us have credit cards as a side effect of our debt, so I cannot charge up a lawyer.
I now and will always accept my half of the blame for our problems and my current situation. If anyone out there in Internet land has any ideas for me, I'd love to hear them. I'll blog again soon.

I love you!

Dave