I tried to sleep, but my heart hurts too much. Where do you put all the emotions you want to share with someone who doesn't want them. I am a very tactile person. I need touching, caressing, holding, cuddleing and more, but I have been starved those simple touches for years.
I have been starved for air, food, water in a relationship with bare cupboards. Yet in the end of it all, there was that one. The one who was familiar and became more. The one that played with me, allowed me to flirt and flirtted back. The one who would provide a simple touch. OH! It was like bread to a beggar,a drink to the parched. Rays of light and hope shined down on me. With every step down that path,I metamorphisied from the malnourshed form I was slowly back into something human
The rebirth you made me feel was supernatural, incredible, unbelieveable. You had erased years of marks on me with a single eraser. I was bright,shinney, prestine, all because of you. My heart whole again, beating, stronger, faster. Nothing to fear and no one to harm.
Then from the blindside,the single sharp stab...through the heart. The bubble burst as the bleeding heart started. The would now weeks old is still as raw, red, inflamed, angry as the day it was made. My mind needs only to drift a short distance to remember the renewal and mountaintop it was on and the subsequent plummit to the jagged rocks below, where it was pierced.
A bleeding heart for the wound never heals, only becomes part of who we are. A reminder of mistakes made, of a better time, of a place I can only hope to reach again. I only wish it could be with you...again.
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