Hello to everyone! I hope this Thursday finds you well. Tuesday morning I had my first divorce court hearing. Fortunately, there not many issues my Ex and I are not agreeable on. I spent most of Monday back and forth on the phone with my lawyer as he went back and forth with her lawyer. So, we went into court with everything agreed upon.
The results are that my Ex will be moving to San Antonio with my kids. SA is about 225 miles from Cleveland, Tx. which is about 45 miles north of Houston. Every other weekend, we will find a place in the middle to transfer the kids. They have 30 days to get moved, and as soon as the car pulls away, a for sale sign will hit the yard. I will be hopeing against hope that it sells before I have to pay the house note, my rent and child support...gonna have problems if that happens.
The good thing is I should be able to walk away from the house with a little money, we'll see. After 18 years of marriage it comes down to this. We had our ups and downs like anybody else does. The past several years things have gotten worse, finances gotten worse, our relationship passed the point of no return. Since I've left, haven't missed her and really felt a huge weight lifted being away from her. I really hate it for my kids, especially now that they are being uprooted just so my Ex can be by her parents, but they had us together for a lot longer than a lot of kids. I love them so much, and I will always be there for them.
Now I need to take this chance to discover who I am and what I have to offer soeone else. I have lost 12 pounds since February, down to 205. I haven't been at this weight for a long time, so this is another benefit of the split. I am doing everything I can to keep the relationship with my Ex workable, agreeable. I want her to find what she's looking for also and be happy again, I don't wish her ill.
Thanks for taking a few minutes of your life to read about mine.
I love you!
Dave
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
The Weekend
So, how was your weekend? I really didn't do too much. I did go out Friday night with some friends to a cowboy bar. I had been there once before with them. I really went to finally meet a friend of my friends. I had spoken to her several times during the weekend. She works quite a lot, so there hadn't been a time for us to meet yet. We are planning on spending some time together soon...I hope. She is quite lovely, and we continue to talk.
An unexpected friend insisted I borrow an extra truck he has, solving quite a few problems in one foul swoop. The biggest thing is I don't have to bother anyone for a ride to court.
I am soooooo looking forward to my first court hearing Tuesday morning, with the added benefit of seeing my dearest father-in-law, the two-face that he is. I plan on taking the high road and not saying anything to either of them if that is possible. I will update Tuesday or Wednesday....
I love you!
Dave
An unexpected friend insisted I borrow an extra truck he has, solving quite a few problems in one foul swoop. The biggest thing is I don't have to bother anyone for a ride to court.
I am soooooo looking forward to my first court hearing Tuesday morning, with the added benefit of seeing my dearest father-in-law, the two-face that he is. I plan on taking the high road and not saying anything to either of them if that is possible. I will update Tuesday or Wednesday....
I love you!
Dave
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Checking in
I have a 2000 Mercury Villager Mini van, not the most desirable ride, but it is the vechicle I took when I moved out of the house. Its paid for and reliable. I know that with 88K miles, it will need repairs in the near future. I get paid once a month on the 25th, not the best way to get paid, but what cha gonna do?
Trying to be proactive, I purchase a car warranty to cover the repairs I will come across. I have to put down $300.00, and the coverage starts 30 days after purchase. Looking good, right? Well, the next weekend it breaks down as I was returning from seeing my kids. I get it towed to the garage and find out the fuel filter is bad. Total $182. They tell me the alternator/dist. cap need fixin also. I explained how I was trying to hold out till the warranty started. July 4th, I go take my 2 little kids to the parade and a movie. The van starts doing the same crap.
I get towed again, and I'm looking at $625.00 for the repair of the alternator/dist. cap. There is no way for me to pay until July 25th, so I am without a ride for 2 weeks. Everything I need for survival is within walking distance, except for my kids.
Oops, I do have my first court date on July 14th, so I am having to rent a car to get to that. All in all, it really could have been much worse, and if this is as bad as it gets, I still understand many have things much worse than I. As many of you know, the transition into divorced life has its hurdles, and this is just one of them.
Speaking of the court date...My dear ole father-in-law is making the trek from San Antonio to accompany his dear daughter to the proceedings. Luckily there are metal dectectors there to prevent him from bring heat into the court. We have very little and the only matter of contention with the divorce is the request for alimony. I wont get into the details, but we will see what happens. I have been paying the child support, half of medical bills and keeping kids on my insurance for the past 2 months, so I am trying to do right by them.
I'll let you know how things go on the 14th.
I Love You!
David
Trying to be proactive, I purchase a car warranty to cover the repairs I will come across. I have to put down $300.00, and the coverage starts 30 days after purchase. Looking good, right? Well, the next weekend it breaks down as I was returning from seeing my kids. I get it towed to the garage and find out the fuel filter is bad. Total $182. They tell me the alternator/dist. cap need fixin also. I explained how I was trying to hold out till the warranty started. July 4th, I go take my 2 little kids to the parade and a movie. The van starts doing the same crap.
I get towed again, and I'm looking at $625.00 for the repair of the alternator/dist. cap. There is no way for me to pay until July 25th, so I am without a ride for 2 weeks. Everything I need for survival is within walking distance, except for my kids.
Oops, I do have my first court date on July 14th, so I am having to rent a car to get to that. All in all, it really could have been much worse, and if this is as bad as it gets, I still understand many have things much worse than I. As many of you know, the transition into divorced life has its hurdles, and this is just one of them.
Speaking of the court date...My dear ole father-in-law is making the trek from San Antonio to accompany his dear daughter to the proceedings. Luckily there are metal dectectors there to prevent him from bring heat into the court. We have very little and the only matter of contention with the divorce is the request for alimony. I wont get into the details, but we will see what happens. I have been paying the child support, half of medical bills and keeping kids on my insurance for the past 2 months, so I am trying to do right by them.
I'll let you know how things go on the 14th.
I Love You!
David
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Angel
Imagine slowly losing the ability to feel. To feel warmth, the sun, physical contact...everything. Slowly numbing, day by day, over a period of years. Retreating within, building walls, making atempts to regain my senses. The harder I try, the more it slipped away. I cry out, but my cries no longer reach past the walls I retreated behind.
One day, in the process of turning away from the source of pain, someone reaches over the walls, past the cries, through years of pain to show the way out. Suddenly, the numbness is gone. I see clearly for the first time in years. Feelings flooded back that were felt again...for the very first time. The happiness and joy, to see after being blind, to hear after being mute, to taste freedom after years in prison.
But...the angel that reached over the walls, the healing touch misread, taken for more, so much more, than it really was. As priceless as that release was, it is ripped away in a flash. The shame of misreading affection. The bitter-sweetness of healing the hard way. The future I had hoped for was changed.
I refuse to rebuild the walls. I have felt again and I will continue to look for chances to feel again. The healing that occured will not be for not. I will step forward, not back. The angel is still there, a part of everyday life. Precious and valued, bitter-sweet. The cries from within are gone, but new cries are heard. Cries for what could have been, what might be, that the one that brought healing becomes the one. The one to dote on, put on a pedistal, treat like a princess, respect, admire, edify...complete. Time heals, one way or another, the cries within.
One day, in the process of turning away from the source of pain, someone reaches over the walls, past the cries, through years of pain to show the way out. Suddenly, the numbness is gone. I see clearly for the first time in years. Feelings flooded back that were felt again...for the very first time. The happiness and joy, to see after being blind, to hear after being mute, to taste freedom after years in prison.
But...the angel that reached over the walls, the healing touch misread, taken for more, so much more, than it really was. As priceless as that release was, it is ripped away in a flash. The shame of misreading affection. The bitter-sweetness of healing the hard way. The future I had hoped for was changed.
I refuse to rebuild the walls. I have felt again and I will continue to look for chances to feel again. The healing that occured will not be for not. I will step forward, not back. The angel is still there, a part of everyday life. Precious and valued, bitter-sweet. The cries from within are gone, but new cries are heard. Cries for what could have been, what might be, that the one that brought healing becomes the one. The one to dote on, put on a pedistal, treat like a princess, respect, admire, edify...complete. Time heals, one way or another, the cries within.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
a bleeding heart...
I tried to sleep, but my heart hurts too much. Where do you put all the emotions you want to share with someone who doesn't want them. I am a very tactile person. I need touching, caressing, holding, cuddleing and more, but I have been starved those simple touches for years.
I have been starved for air, food, water in a relationship with bare cupboards. Yet in the end of it all, there was that one. The one who was familiar and became more. The one that played with me, allowed me to flirt and flirtted back. The one who would provide a simple touch. OH! It was like bread to a beggar,a drink to the parched. Rays of light and hope shined down on me. With every step down that path,I metamorphisied from the malnourshed form I was slowly back into something human
The rebirth you made me feel was supernatural, incredible, unbelieveable. You had erased years of marks on me with a single eraser. I was bright,shinney, prestine, all because of you. My heart whole again, beating, stronger, faster. Nothing to fear and no one to harm.
Then from the blindside,the single sharp stab...through the heart. The bubble burst as the bleeding heart started. The would now weeks old is still as raw, red, inflamed, angry as the day it was made. My mind needs only to drift a short distance to remember the renewal and mountaintop it was on and the subsequent plummit to the jagged rocks below, where it was pierced.
A bleeding heart for the wound never heals, only becomes part of who we are. A reminder of mistakes made, of a better time, of a place I can only hope to reach again. I only wish it could be with you...again.
I have been starved for air, food, water in a relationship with bare cupboards. Yet in the end of it all, there was that one. The one who was familiar and became more. The one that played with me, allowed me to flirt and flirtted back. The one who would provide a simple touch. OH! It was like bread to a beggar,a drink to the parched. Rays of light and hope shined down on me. With every step down that path,I metamorphisied from the malnourshed form I was slowly back into something human
The rebirth you made me feel was supernatural, incredible, unbelieveable. You had erased years of marks on me with a single eraser. I was bright,shinney, prestine, all because of you. My heart whole again, beating, stronger, faster. Nothing to fear and no one to harm.
Then from the blindside,the single sharp stab...through the heart. The bubble burst as the bleeding heart started. The would now weeks old is still as raw, red, inflamed, angry as the day it was made. My mind needs only to drift a short distance to remember the renewal and mountaintop it was on and the subsequent plummit to the jagged rocks below, where it was pierced.
A bleeding heart for the wound never heals, only becomes part of who we are. A reminder of mistakes made, of a better time, of a place I can only hope to reach again. I only wish it could be with you...again.
Support
It is really incredible and quite encouraging to hear from people in different parts of the world. South Africa and France!! Thank you SO much for taking a few minutes of your life to read about mine. Please sign up to follow my blog and tell anyone else about me.
It must be an exciting time to live in South Africa, what with the World Cup next summer. I can also see where it could be a tremendous pain in the butt, depending on who you are and where you are. I am a life-love soccer fan. Here in the states, that makes me a minority. Soccer numbers have increased, but even if the US were to ever win a World Cup, the sport will never surpass the NFL, MLB and NBA. I have spent many a weekend watching european matches. I am a Man Utd fan, but I am a fan of the game first.
Anyway, welcome to everyone and please follow me.
Love always!
Dave
It must be an exciting time to live in South Africa, what with the World Cup next summer. I can also see where it could be a tremendous pain in the butt, depending on who you are and where you are. I am a life-love soccer fan. Here in the states, that makes me a minority. Soccer numbers have increased, but even if the US were to ever win a World Cup, the sport will never surpass the NFL, MLB and NBA. I have spent many a weekend watching european matches. I am a Man Utd fan, but I am a fan of the game first.
Anyway, welcome to everyone and please follow me.
Love always!
Dave
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