Talk to me Goose...

     For so long this had been my only release to the vast waves of emotion coursing through me.  There are reasons that no longer made that necessary.  I look back on the last real entry from Dec 27.  It is painful to think back on the twisted wreckage of a person I was through the last half of last year. 
     I just finished being trapped by Top Gun.  One of the movies I can't leave once it starts. 
     It has been clearly shown to me the root of my folly.  About 8-9 years ago, frustrated by a stale marraige, constant financial turmoil, continual rejection seeking the job I knew God had promised me, the strain and stress of raising 4 kids and a failed new house purchase...I turned away from God.  The slow, systematic destruction of my life led to the collapse of my marriage.  After moving out I continued to spiral downward, out of control.  One day after the Dec. 27 entry I had completely reached bottom.  I was broken in every sense of the word.  Dec 28th I had no hope, things were desolate.  The evening of Dec. 29 I got a Facebook message from Corin, a girl I knew in Jr. College.  She was actually the girl that led me to Christ, the daughter of an Assemblies of God minister.  I explained my situation.  She asked if I was still in church...
      She told me to get back to God, that she'd pray for me and the sale of the house and to contact a college professor we both hold dear, himself a minister.  I contacted Larry and explained my situation to him.  He told me to get back to God, and he'd pray for me and the house.  That very evening, December 29th...We had a contract on the house.  It gets better...they were not going to do an inspection, they wanted to move in 4 days later and close 15 days later.  God worked out every detail!
     I was able to land in a one bedroom for a few weeks until I could move into a two bedroom.  As I continued to draw closer to God, I made plans to return to church and start counseling for the divorce.  I went back to Second Baptist in Kingwood, where we used to attend church when my family used to attend church.  I found a great men's SS class and a contemporary worship service that I love.  I also started a 13 week Divorce care class that I finished a week ago.
     After a few weeks of this class, another miracle happened.  God softened my heart towards my wife.  I had gone 7 solid months with NO thought of ever considering a reconciliation.  I felt the Spirit telling me to call her and just apologize for the wrongs that I had done over so many years.  I did this.  We started to text, and got to the point where we actually decided to put the divorce on hold.  She ended up changing her mind about that and wanted to move forward.  The difference now is that I committ this situation, as well as my life, to God to work out.  If He wanted to bring us back together, I have an open heart and mind.  I know God is bigger than all my troubles. 
     I believe I have felt God telling me the divorce would take place.  I know God hates divorce, but I know He can work all things together for good for those called according to his purpose.  He gives me my daily bread and I walk joyous in His love.
     I am often reminded of my past mistakes.  There are several I hurt greatly.  I beg your forgiveness.    I pray you and your families continue to heal, grow and prosper.  I think of you teaching your SS class, hoping your well and happy.  I apologize for ever taking you down the wrong road, but am grateful for our contact.
     I pray none of you will lose your walk with Christ.  There are so many times I wish I never had, that I'd never lost my family.  Please don't let what happened to me happen to you.  All the years I walked away from God...it only took one step to come back.  I was the prodigal son.
     May this find you well, Christ be with you.


In His UNCONDITIONAL love,
dave